


the thousand fahrenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes

by kaotiskplatonisk



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), DCU (Movies), Dark Knight (2008), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne Suffers No Fools, Earth's Mightiest Dorks, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Mentioned Tony/Steve, The Avengers - Freeform, The Stark Expo, Timeline Ambiguity, Timeline What Timeline, Tony Stark Is Just One Big SNAFU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaotiskplatonisk/pseuds/kaotiskplatonisk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(A gift in follow-up form to AlchemyAlice and her Superbros! series which I love beyond all bounds of imagining)</p><p>As it happened, the 'you hurt him, I hospitalize you' talk became relevant a lot later than Bruce anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the thousand fahrenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlchemyAlice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlchemyAlice/gifts).



> Hej!   
> So I finished the Superbros! series a few days ago, and immediately fell in love with a Stark-and-Wayne dynamic tag-team duo (kicking ass, taking names, and dismantling the corporate bureaucracy). So. Here's some more of that. I had a ton of fun with it.  
> Muse-ic is Blue Orchid by The White Stripes (but we all know that there's distant Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson playing whenever Tony Stark enters a room).  
> Cheers, AlchemyAlice!

As it happened, the _'you hurt him, I hospitalize you'_ talk became relevant a lot later than Bruce anticipated.

  
For all intents and purposes he blamed Tony for screwing up his timeline, but he had a niggling suspicion that it was Rogers himself who delayed the resolution of the best example of obvious sexual tension in all of history. That man could be _tactically devious_ when he had cause to be, no two ways around it.  
In all, though, the need for intervention arose, and Bruce had seen this coming miles away, approaching sure and steady as the tide. He'd mapped out the finer points of what he would say, and it barely fazed him that he'd be threatening American icon and poster boy for moral integrity Captain America with broken kneecaps and a castration if he so much as  _looked_ at Tony the wrong way.

  
Stark had contingency plans for this, Bruce knew it, so that when the time came Steve was all but guarded by a throng of Avengers. Tony played goalie most of all, which ranked just above flipping him the bird on Bruce's tolerance for assholery.

  
"Brucie, baby! Knew you'd make it." Tony's megawatt grin sits unnaturally on him, as if he's purposefully aiming for casual but barely scraping together bared teeth as  friendly. He's positioned so Steve stands behind his shoulder, a stance that he knows won't stop the two from interacting but meant to just slightly discourage Wayne from launching himself at Captain America.

  
It's an attempt in vain- Bruce is a tabloid favorite, any and all sense of maintaining his dignity in public was scrapped long ago.   
"It's a year-round event, I'd be purposefully avoiding you if I didn't," Bruce blinks at him guilelessly, holding out a hand to Steve, "Nice to see you again, Captain."

  
"Bruce," Steve returns with an endearingly earnest smile as he grips Bruce's hand in his own. Tony watches Bruce with a trenchant look that says, _'if you flip my boyfriend over your shoulder I will sell all of my WE shares'_. Just to spite him he reaches over and claps Steve on the shoulder. He has a feeling he'll pay for that in some blatant way later, probably with a row of metal-capped knuckles to his jaw.

  
The Stark Expo is as loud and gaudy and bright as its namesake, and Tony himself has no trouble keeping the spotlight- and Steve's attention, Bruce notes- firmly pinned on him. He talks Bruce through the diaspora of stalls and pavilions, showing off the new reactor technology he plans on modifying the commercial-grade solar panels with by next quarter and talking stock and portfolio with his usual patent dazzle. Steve doesn't even try to pretend to know what he's talking about, which Bruce grants him a grudging respect for, and when he's neatly handed off to Banner, Bruce keeps tabs on his movement.

  
Tony rounds on him as soon as Steve's out of range.

  
"You break him you bought him, Wayne."   
"I have no idea what you mean," Bruce murmurs, running a hand down a panel of circuitry at the display they stand at, a renovated relative of Dummy and Butterfingers' design made for precision surgery.

  
Tony snorts, "You've been eyeballing him like a rabid dog for the last two hours."  
"He's an American icon, it's a personal goal of mine to stay on the good side of America's sweethearts."  
"Bullshit. I call bullshit, with Clark Kent as my witness."  
"Clark's not here, and he doesn't qualify as an American sweetheart. He's from Krypton."  
"Serious face here, memorize my serious face, there'll be a quiz. Don't harass Cap, okay? He's like a goddamn deer, he spooks."  
Bruce shoots him a withering smile, "Speaking from experience? It took longer than I thought for you to proposition him."

  
Passing it off as a casual shift of his weight, Bruce reaches into one suit pocket and taps at the receiver nestled in the custom Armani stitching there. Tony splutters in incoherent pique.

  
"I am not- I did not proposition him! I resent that. Fuck that, you'll get better luck seducing a brick wall than Steve. For a guy with a refractory period of like zero he's ridiculously polite."  
Bruce cocks an eyebrow at him, in his peripheral finding the distinct form of Rogers as he gestures Banner toward a bioengineering display.  
"You have a one-track mind, Batsy, I resent that too. SHIELD files. SHIELD. Files."

  
"Ah, Mister Stark. A pleasure to see you again."  
Bruce tamps down the urge to smirk. Lucius is apt in his timing as always. Tony reconstructs his razzle-dazzle charm and shakes Fox's hand.

  
"Lucius, came out to see the new toys?"  
"For all I know, I may be working with a few of these inventions of yours by quarter's end, Mister Stark. I've heard incredible things about your innovations in AI," Lucius gestures to the display they stand at. Bruce allows himself the palest shade of a smile as Fox hooks Tony line and sinker. Lucius is masterful with a handful of words, being in the industry of balming rankled egos and juggling the occasional business merger. The man has met Justin Hammer and managed not to punch him in the nose. He has Tony talking carbon-fiber reinforced paneling and single-crystal titanium in ten seconds flat. Stark isn't the only one with a contingency plan, after all. Bruce ducks out of the conversation with a practiced sort of ease. He finds Steve halfway to the outdoor bar sans company, but knowing Tony he's set up Clint to take Rogers' elbow as soon as he orders himself a cola. Bruce intercepts him with a smile.

  
"Captain, been meaning to speak with you."  
Steve blinks at him, thrown by his sudden appearance- caped crusading has taught Bruce how to sneak up on the unsuspecting- before returning his smile.  
"Of course. It's Steve, really, Captain is for the brass."  
"Steve, then. Join me?"

  
Steve falls into step with him as Bruce diverts them toward the outer perimeter of the crowd. The Expo is set on the water, docks hailing yachts ferrying diplomats and heads of state. Bruce walks them to the water, leaning a forearm against the cast iron railing. The wind is more an icy tendril rising off the crests of the waves here, muting the conversation back at the heart of the Expo into white noise.  
Bruce rolls the preplanned words around his tongue, an acquired taste he's had a while to adjust to.

  
"He's a Wayne in every manner, Steve, except for blood. That makes him family, so when I say that-"  
"Son," Steve interrupts, raising a hand. There's flint in his eyes and a sharpness to the edge of his tone, an angle to his chin and shoulders that wasn't there before.  
"Just don't."

  
When Tony finally manages to track them down later with promises of hell to pay for Bruce, he's stopped short when Wayne nods at Steve and claps him on the shoulder. As he passes by, citing an intent to find where Lucius wandered off to, he drops the words "break him you bought him" in Tony's ear and leaves them staring after him, humming an eerily familiar tune under his breath.

  
"Is he humming Sexual Healing?" Steve asks, the tips of his ears going pink.  
"Yes," Tony seeths, "Yes he is."


End file.
